Seasons

This is not the season for chicks, ducks, goats, pigs, cows, puppies, horses, or babies. Nor is it the season for travel, long novels, extended time alone, teaching classes, taking classes, or sleeping in. This season will not be filled with sun bathing, late night dancing, skinny dipping, (or skinny anything for that matter), long napping, immaculate house keeping, or Friday night parties. And I am trying to be ok with all that, because this season is about out loud laughing, training, teaching, loving, story reading, snuggling, inventing, imagining, baking, giggling, fort building, craft making, outdoor exploring, awe and wonder, first time everythings, and growing souls, mine and theirs.
 I carry some sorrow for the season it isn't. Sometimes I grieve these seeming losses. It can't be helped. But, when it hurts the most, I am quietly reminded by this gentle Father, that this season I am in is precious and short lived and I let go. I hand Him the sorrow, the grief, the pain and I step into the place I ought to be, the present. It is a gift and I don't want to miss it. It's only a season.

Cabin Fever

Sometimes cabin fever makes us delirious. We MUST take extreme action!

Why yes this is a mattress in my kitchen, thanks for asking!

Indeed, it is s slide in my living room as well.

It's the Little Things

The way she calls cats "meowies."
The way they both say "yes..." "bah."
The way she tells me what animal she is every morning.
The way lamby is always by his side.
The way he demands a "good job."

Because this was last year and it seems like just yesterday, and the time flies, and it's just too easy to forget the little things.

Some Things You May Know

I think I love snow...

" 'Could this be a mountain?' he wondered. 'I think I've always wanted to climb a mountian.'
'This must be a palace!' Corduroy gasped. 'I guess I've always wanted to live in a palace.' "
Don Freeman

At the ripe old age of 33 I am quite like Corduroy and it has been my undoing this year. While many of my friends are raving about their 30's and how they are loving finally being comfortable with who they are, I am battling insecurity like never before and for the life of me I can't figure out "who I really am."
 I guess I've always loved camping... I think I like to be with people more... I guess I like to cook... I think I hate shopping... and on and on I go. Well, friends this is the year of self-discovery and I am bringing you all along on my journey. As I spend time on this blog you will find occasional posts called "Some Things You May Know" and in that post there will be a small glimpse into my world of self-discovery. To many this will be extremely bland, others will laugh at the things I come to find about myself... because who doesn't know these things already??? But, it's time to get to know me, the ins and outs. It's time to get pass the "I guesses and I thinks" to...
"This must be home,' he said. 'I know I've always wanted a home!'" Yes indeed, it is time to KNOW!

1. You may know I love to read. I know I love to read.
 You may not know I am currently reading: Little Women, In the Grip of Grace, The Magicians Nephew, The Tanglewoods Secret, The Writing Road to Reading, Educating the Whole Hearted Child,and Tips on Organizing Your Home.
This is good!

The View from My Bedroom Window

I and E trying to "snowboard" on this beautiful snowy Sunday.

Baby C figuring out this snow stuff!

Our residential herd of deer.

There are twelve, can you find them all?

One of my favorite little ladies! Isn't her face pretty?

Isn't it amazing? God has blessed us with this amazing home and land. I am so thankful and pray I never forget this gift and the joy it has brought to our lives.

When the day goes so well

Valentines Day last year! How time flies especially on these good days!

When the day goes so well you find your self smiling more than sighing, laughing more than yelling, hugging more than correcting, drinking more than eating (you know what I mean), playing more than resting, teaching more than lecturing, and being positive more than negative, it might be because you got up early enough to read SOMETHING important before the day began, or because your meals are already planned, or the baby took a good nap, or you slept through the night, or the dishes are all done, or sledding in the middle of the day with your kids was really fun, but chances are this day is a gift from someone really Kind, Merciful, Tender, Loving, and filled with the most amazing GRACE. And for that, especially on this really, really good day, I am thankful!

The Myth of Me Time

The reason why I might have started to think I needed "me time."

I have always cringed inwardly when someone would ask me if I am getting enough "me time." This idea never resonated in my heart and always made me wonder if  perhaps "me time" was an excuse to be self-focused, which didn't seem at all  "godly"or "Biblical" to me. Then I had my fifth child, who has not been "easy" as they say and on days when I felt as though I might loose my mind to the crying I began to wonder if my problem was this lack of "me time." So for about 6 months now I have been pursuing "me time" and have found that it breeds in me frustration and discontentment. Because, friends, the fact is with 5 children 6 and under, I am really never guaranteed "me time," and when I am pouring myself out like a drink offering all day long, I can begin to develop a feeling of entitlement for "me time." Which of course brings it full circle to that whole discontentment thing, because that "me time" never really happens the way I think it should.

The not so easy, but very cute, 5th child.

 I started to notice my frustration levels rising and my thoughts constantly going to "I need a break," "I need some time alone." " I have got to get some me time!!!!" Meanwhile I would get angry if a baby woke up too early in the morning and stole my "me time" from me or when children didn't nap well, or when little hands would come under the bathroom door during my 5 minute "me time" potty break. Frustration grew and I began needing more and more "me time," until this week it hit me... "me time" is a myth! To bring this thought home I also read this statement from a sweet mommy of six:
 "My goal is to have a short time of prayer and time in the Bible, even if only for a brief moment. My intention is to make this a priority without developing a sense of entitlement about "me time". I don't look at it as "me time" because it's not at all about me. In fact, it's all about asking God to help me see the day through His eyes and remember that it's not about me."
Well, there I have it, a sweet reminder, right when I needed it... IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!! So, this week, I battled my thoughts. If I began thinking "I need a break" I would fight back with "no, I need to engage, this is not about me." This is not to say I didn't take any time to rest, or be quiet, or to be alone, but the pressure was off to make anything about me and the truth of Psalm 100:2 rang out "Serve the Lord with Gladness," and I was able to let go of a little of this feeling of entitlement I had developed and a little of that frustration and discontentment dissipated as well. And it is good. And God is kind. And life is hard without it being all about me. So, I let go of this myth and I cling to the truth and hold on for dear life, because this is about HIM, not about me. And I love that.

Well, here we are. It's a New Year and I am so very excited for 2013 and all the adventures ahead! I am hopeful that blogging will once again become part of my life (though I am still not sure where it will fit in). I hope to document small glimpses of our life and all that lies within as I continue to hold fast to the thought that:
"all work done for God is spiritual work and therefore not merely a duty but a holy privilege"
As I go about this spiritual work of raising children and keeping home, perhaps you can look in my little window and grant me grace and accountability as I learn to cling to He who grants this Holy Privilege.