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| The reason why I might have started to think I needed "me time." |
I have always cringed inwardly when someone would ask me if I am getting enough "me time." This idea never resonated in my heart and always made me wonder if perhaps "me time" was an excuse to be self-focused, which didn't seem at all "godly"or "Biblical" to me. Then I had my fifth child, who has not been "easy" as they say and on days when I felt as though I might loose my mind to the crying I began to wonder if my problem was this lack of "me time." So for about 6 months now I have been pursuing "me time" and have found that it breeds in me frustration and discontentment. Because, friends, the fact is with 5 children 6 and under, I am really never guaranteed "me time," and when I am pouring myself out like a drink offering all day long, I can begin to develop a feeling of entitlement for "me time." Which of course brings it full circle to that whole discontentment thing, because that "me time" never really happens the way I think it should.
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| The not so easy, but very cute, 5th child. |
I started to notice my frustration levels rising and my thoughts constantly going to "I need a break," "I need some time alone." " I have got to get some me time!!!!" Meanwhile I would get angry if a baby woke up too early in the morning and stole my "me time" from me or when children didn't nap well, or when little hands would come under the bathroom door during my 5 minute "me time" potty break. Frustration grew and I began needing more and more "me time," until this week it hit me... "me time" is a myth! To bring this thought home I also read this statement from a sweet mommy of six:
"My goal is to have a short time of prayer and time in the Bible, even if
only for a brief moment. My intention is to make this a priority
without developing a sense of entitlement about "me time". I don't look
at it as "me time" because it's not at all about me.
In fact, it's all about asking God to help me see the day through His eyes and remember that it's not about me."
Well, there I have it, a sweet reminder, right when I needed it... IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!!
So, this week, I battled my thoughts. If I began thinking "I need a break" I would fight back with "no, I need to engage, this is not about me." This is not to say I didn't take any time to rest, or be quiet, or to be alone, but the pressure was off to make anything about me and the truth of Psalm 100:2 rang out "Serve the Lord with Gladness," and I was able to let go of a little of this feeling of entitlement I had developed and a little of that frustration and discontentment dissipated as well. And it is good. And God is kind. And life is hard without it being all about me. So, I let go of this myth and I cling to the truth and hold on for dear life, because this is about HIM, not about me. And I love that.
